Cancer can have a profound effect
on even the strongest relationship. Here is one woman’s story of how womb
cancer changed hers:
‘I realised over the last year to eighteen months that things were
different with you. You seemed uncomfortable with me, you seemed to avoid me at
every possible opportunity, you seemed to be shutting yourself away or going
for walks or having to ‘see someone’ or on your mobile. I suspected there was
someone else.
Going through cancer has been described as inducing Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder. I can understand why – and maybe it’s not just the cancer
patient who suffers this; maybe loved ones, those closest, suffer from this
too. It’s hard to deal with.
You were always my rock; you were always there to catch me if I ‘fell’,
there to listen, to talk, to make me smile. I always loved being around you,
being with you, going for walks, making love. But cancer changed all of that.
You couldn’t take away the fear of the unknown, the fear that maybe
death was calling for me, and I couldn’t reassure you that I was going to be ok.
I couldn’t be there the way I used to be because I was too ill and too busy
trying to keep all the “what ifs” and negative thoughts out of my head.
When I needed you, you had to ‘take a rain check’ – work was busy, I’d
had my op, I was ‘recovering’, your job came first. Then you admitted that it
was because you couldn’t cope with being around me but not being able to touch
me or have a relationship the way things used to be.
I had no idea recovery would take so long. I had no idea womb cancer would
rob me of me. I’m no longer who I used to be, I’m no longer how I used to be,
I’m no longer what I used to be. I’m different, I’m a new me and nothing is the
same any more. Without going through it, it’s almost impossible for others to
understand – and even harder for me to explain.
I love you but I don’t think it’s enough to keep you with me and I’m sorry
it came to this. It’s not what I wanted.’
Please speak to your GP or cancer
care nurse (CNS) if you are experiencing problems after womb cancer – they should be able to refer you to a counsellor for help.
Love Rose x
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